The choices we make in life are connected to our emotions. How chronically unhappy people fix their inner self depends on their desire to change their mindset. Happiness comes from your decision to be a happy person or an unhappy person.
Happy people are simply happy living in the present. They understand that they alone are responsible for their happiness. As a result of their positive energy and optimistic outlook they are admired. They attract and encourage other people to work on healing their inner self as most people want to be happy. Their laughter and energy become infectious. Other people want to be around happy energy so they can learn from them and be happy as well.
Chronically unhappy people on the other hand are pessimists they place all kinds of negative limitations on themselves and make all kinds of excuses because they are too afraid to fail. Their fear of failure paralyses their thinking and they keep themselves stuck in the same place.
Your thoughts, actions and choices all contribute to happiness or unhappiness. If you want to be happy you entertain happy thoughts and do things that make you happy. If however, you feel chronically unhappy you can be true to yourself, make some positive changes and work towards fixing your emotional state. The reality is, only you can fix your mind, your thoughts, your actions and choices. Only you can control how you feel, so don’t worry, make the choice, be happy.
Here are 10 common things chronically unhappy people do and how they can heal their life.
- They subscribe to pessimistic views of life.
Unhappy people are driven by fear. Too afraid to fail they put all kinds of limitation on themselves. They subscribe to old beliefs like “People don’t change.” “That is not fixable.” “You are finished.” No doubt these types of negative beliefs are self serving. Paralysed with fear you are not motivated to try anything new. However, in limiting your thoughts, your imagination and your actions you hold yourself back from ever reaching your actual potential.
“The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts.” – Marcus Aurelius
A closed mind inhibits your thoughts thereby preventing you to think and problem solve effectively. To be happy you must reset your mind and thoughts to positive thinking. In other words you must change. Be done with all the negative beliefs standing in your way of progress, free yourself of fear. “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself” President Franklin D. Roosevelt.
Happy people don’t try to be happy. Happy people make a choice to be happy. They live their life the best way they can with what they have. Chronically unhappy people on the other hand want to fix their unhappiness without having to do the necessary work required. You can’t chase happiness. It can’t be found. It can’t be grasped. It happens, when everything else falls into place. Make a choice to be happy.
- They are stuck and are averse to change.
Change means work it means growing pain getting out of your comfort zone. It means losing control a little bit.
Everyone needs a break from the hustle and bustle of life. Some may throw in the towel; some may eat a bit more and exercise less at the most crucial time they chose to become a spectator instead of being a proponent for change.
Still, it is absolutely important to practice change, feeling fear and overcoming it. Why? You see, happiness starts shining through when you are lest focused on finding happiness. It happens when you are not focused on finding happiness, but focused instead on overcoming fear. The evolution and growth of a person is where personal satisfaction and accomplishment breeds happiness. Without personal development we are expecting happiness to come without having done the work. Unhappiness is a symptom of arrested development. Knowing this, get active, take responsibility for your life and work towards appreciating what you can control.
“Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don’t.” – Steve Maraboli
- They don’t try enough.
- we need to try new habits
- try new relationships
- try new activities
- try new foods
- try new knowledge.
- keep trying to find ourselves at every stage of our lives.
- try to be our best person.
- we need to try to serve.
Happiness is finding your passion; whatever you love so much that it causes you pain. Unhappy people quit too early. They don’t give themselves credit and quit before the glory. When we know what we’re made of, it gives us confidence to try more often.
“No guts no glory”. Major Gen. Frederick C. Blesse may not be well known by the general public, but in U.S. Air Force circles he remains something of a legend. With extensive combat experience and a pile of medals and awards, his place in U.S. Air Force history was already assured in 1955 when he wrote a fighter tactics manual called No Guts, No Glory. It is considered the Bible of air-to-air combat and has been used by a number of air forces around the world. “No Pain, No Gain” is a less dramatic, but more familiar variation of the phrase, which refers to the need for hard work not only in the gym but at anything you wish to succeed in doing.
“Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I’ll try again tomorrow.” – Mary Anne Radmacher
- They self deprecate.
- practice complimenting yourself for all your efforts.
- learn to love yourself.
- be good and kind to yourself.
- stop the self inflicted verbal abuse.
Happiness is derived from confidence and that inner belief in ourselves. What exactly is happiness? Happiness could mean:
- a life that goes well for the person leading it.
- happiness could be what benefits us
- is good for us
- make us better off, serves our interests, and is desirable for us and for our sake.
“You’re braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” – A.A. Milne
- They are addicted to dark, depressing things.
For instance the news and some television shows can be inherently depressing. Undoubtedly, it is easy to relate to the horror and injustices in the world and with other people. When you’re programmed to believe that your life is better compared to the horror stories we hear and see we are polluting our mind to attract those very things in our lives. What would happen if we change our mindset and exposed ourselves to funny, pleasant, happy things?
“People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be.” – Abraham Lincoln
Is this quote reason enough to change your mind set? You decide how you want to feel and immerse yourself in a culture to be happy.
- They care about what others think.
You will never be happy if you’re focused on other people’s judgements of you. Focus only on what you think and care about. Work to be confident and strong in your beliefs and become a better person. It takes time to develop self confidence and discover who you truly are so never waste time caring about what others think of you.
“Be true to yourself and you will never fall.” – Beastie Boys.
- They are defensive.
- accept the truth and be cool with it
- do not take things personally
- make good things happen
- embrace change, learn, grow, develop
- be happy.
“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.” – Lao Tzu
Be open to taking chances, getting creative and working at something. Little achievements are big offensive moves.
- They are passionate and proud (but also stubborn).
Unhappy people want to do things their way because they are stubborn. When given suggestions, they become defensive and rebel even more positive that they are right. More often than not they allow pride to get in the way. Pride however, is just another barrier standing in your way to happiness.
- pride is holding you back – get rid of it
- pride is selfish
- happiness is selfless.
- be open to alternative ideas and solutions.
- try a new approach
- change whatever is not working for you.
“To improve is to change; to be perfect is to change often.” – Winston Churchill
Being humble is the answer to happiness. Do something different, if you want a different result!
- They hold on for too long.
Holding onto the past whether it is grudges, toxic relationships, material possessions to name a few you must make a conscious effort to let go of the old, clear your mind and be ready to accept new opportunities waiting for you.
“All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another.” – Anatole France
One door must close for another to open. When you hold onto the past and keep looking backward halts progress and happiness. The best things happen to those that don’t hold on too tightly. Let go of your grasp, look forward and watch how things fall into place without your efforts. Have faith in something other than yourself. Let go of control and wait for the result.
- They take themselves too seriously.
Do you find humour in your efforts or circumstances? If you don’t, you’re taking yourself too seriously. Learn to laugh at yourself and at others. Laughter is a great natural stress reliever so lighten up laugh, appreciate your efforts; pat yourself on your back for trying. Be humble, ask and accept help from others, don’t be too hard on yourself for life is short and laughter leads to happiness.