I am Vena 71 years, married for 47 years to my husband who was diagnosed in 1992 (23 years ago) with chronic progressive multiple sclerosis. Together, we have 4 adult children.
Here’s my story & my journey:
In 1967 I left my job and family in the Caribbean, beautiful Trinidad & Tobago, my homeland, and headed to Canada intending to attend university and become a teacher. I was young, vivacious and full of life. I love adventure and was curious to experience a different way of life, I was ready to face the world.
In the fall of 1968 I marry my husband, started a family in 1969 and within 10 years of marriage we produced 4 beautiful children, life was good, we were working and raising our young family. Little did I know that the universe would throw my family a real life’s curve and it was up to me to play the card I was dealt. Living and dealing with multiple sclerosis in my family became my new adventure.
I am the caregiver for my husband he has chronic progressive multiple sclerosis for 23 years. In my tumultuous journey I have experienced an abundance of highs and lows, unimaginable emotions and health issues. I understand and appreciate the need for real help in maintaining caregiver wellness.
As a caregiver myself, I wish to emphasize the importance of paying attention to your own health. You must put in place a plan with a healthy balance so you do not become overwhelmed with responsibilities thereby neglecting to care for yourself. I help caregivers become more assertive and ask for the help they need. You must pay attention to your inner well being first, in order to take care of anyone else. This may come across as selfish, however, the opposite is true. Care giving starts with you, you are your #1 priority.
Too often the concern is focused on the sick or disabled person and the needs of the caregiver are overlooked, forgotten, or get lost in the shuffle.
Based on my real life’s experiences I wish to share my story by helping caregivers living in my world of care giving.
Today, more and more families are tasked with the responsibility of caring for a loved one and in most cases, financial resources are limited. Whether or not you are caring for your loved ones at home or outside the home, there are expenses to cover, life goes on and the bills must be paid.
Unable to sleep at 4:00 o’clock one morning, so stressed out, I got out of bed, turned on my computer and began surfing the internet. As I search for online business opportunities, I discovered Wealthy Affiliate and decided to become a member. Determined to make a difference in my life I felt I had found the perfect platform. After all, I came to Canada to become a teacher and It probably was divine intervention that guided me here to embrace this amazing opportunity and share my experience with the world. The link below is helping me to bring real change to my life.
In February 2015, I started a blog. I am now writing a book for caregivers that I will self publish within the next 4 – 6 months. My passion for writing and sharing together with the excellent training and support through the Wealthy Affiliate community enables me to add a new dimension to my life.
Your friend,
Vena
Hello my neighbor, just thought I should say Hi, my family is from Guyana, so that’s why I call you neighbor! Looking forward to seeing more tips and advice on how to care for caregivers.
Hello Andria:
Thank-you for visiting my website. I am passionate about care for caregivers. In my role as a caregiver I have struggled for far too long on my own and have dedicated myself to helping caregivers take better care of themselves.
Please visit again for an update on information coming soon.
Cheeers
Vena.
Thanks Miss Vena for sharing your story, I believe there is a huge truth in all that you have noted on “caring for yourself first”. However, I believe that as nurturers when faced with tragic events we aimlessly pick up the knapsack as the brave soldier and continue the journey of life. I believe part of the problem is knowing when to reach out/admit to others the need for help. . Often culture, pride, and independence plays a big role where we downplay or disregard the heaviness of knapsack. I have learned over the years that it is “okay” to say I can’t or a simple no. Another fault of a nurturer is the enabling factor, this occurs in the initial stage of illness or diagnosis. The truth is that we realize our enabling behavior when it is so far gone that we have created a monster of dependence in the other person(s). Changing and recreating ourselves and seeking help is difficult. Therefore, I believe like anything else we should rely on the experts to provide insightful advice or seek support groups where others can share their experiences.
Respectfully,
Antonette
Hello Antonette:
Thanks so much for visiting and leaving your comments. This site brings great relief to me and I am happy that health professionals like you empathize with our ongoing journey.
Please visit again and always leave a comment.
Cheers.
this world needs more people like you. beautiful thoughts and website
Hello Sachin: Thanks so very much for your beautiful comment, greatly appreciated.
Cheers.
Vena, Very impressive site. Thank you for making this website and sharing your knowledge. Bless you, your work, and your family:) ,Joe Anderson
Many thanks for your beautiful words of encouragement. Please visit again as the site will evolve with time. Your comments are always welcome.
Cheers.
You’re the one with the brains here. I’m wacntihg for your posts.
Hello Janelle: It is good to hear that you are finding value in my site; thanks for visiting. The site is progressively evolving so please keep on visiting and leave us your thoughts. Cheers.
Always the best content from these proiogdius writers.
Hello Lakiesha: I am pleased that you find the site to be of value and I thank you for visiting. Do come again and leave us your thoughts. Cheers.
Hi Vena !
Impressive website to go with the equally impressive lady !
We need more people like you, Vena.
Great inspiration and full of life.
Keep up the good work.
Wish you well.
Regards.
Jaspal
Hi Jaspal:
Thanks very much for your beautiful words of support and encouragement.
I look forward to your return and of course, your comments.
Cheers.
it was lovely to meet you today at the Saint Elizabeth caregiver show. Thank you for your kind words after my presentation. Our group is working hard raising awareness and educating and lobbying our health care system on the needs of the caregiver. The more we stand up and speak out the more relevant we become. I’m glad to have our voices joined. I hope to see you again soon. Best regards, Carole Ann
Hello Carol Ann:
I was indeed thrilled to be part of the Saint Elizabeth caregiver show today and to connect with wonderful people like you. As I listened to your story your strength and determination is a testament to a caregiver’s journey. I applaud your selfless efforts as you fought endlessly to resolve your husband’s health issues. I am equally happy to have our voices joined in our initiative. There is strength in numbers and together we will make great things happen. I look forward to see you soon. Cheers, Vena
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Many thanks for posting when you’ve got the
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So great to discover somebody with some original thoughts on this topic.
Really.. many thanks for starting this up. This
website is one thing that is required on the internet, someone with a little originality!
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personal favorites!
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Vena, what a beautiful and informative site you have created. I find this information useful to all of us who neglect to take care of ourselves first. I will certainly share your site with others I feel will benefit from the information. Thank you and keep up the good work.
Nan: Thanks for visiting this site. I am thrilled that you find the information useful. We update regularly with quality content and encourage you to continue to visit our site and leave us your thoughts. It is lovely to hear from our visitors and read their comments. Cheers.
Amazing blog! Do you have any tips and hints for aspiring writers?
I’m hoping to start my own site soon but I’m a little lost on everything.
Bless you!
Thanks for visiting this site and your comment. I am happy you find value here. Please continue to visit and let us know how we’re doing.
Cheers.
Hi Vena,
Thank you for creating this very helpful and informative website. So often, caregivers don’t get the support they need. I see you are trying to help with that while also making available a lot of good information for caregivers. There are so many of us out there these days, especially with what seems like an increase in disabling diseases that often strike down young, vital family members such as my daughter, and your husband, unfortunately. It’s nice to know there is a special day set aside for caregivers and that the internet provides a way for us to connect and know we’re not alone.
Best wishes to you.
Diana
Hello Diana:
Many thanks for your very beautiful comment. I am happy to be of value to caregivers. People like ourselves understand what care-giving takes and it is for this reason I started this website to provide informational assistance that I did not know when I became a caregiver 23 years ago. Please continue to visit as we update regularly and let us have your thoughts. Cheers.
I always spent my half an hour to read this webpage’s posts daily along with a cup of coffee.
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A blog like yours ought to be earning a lot of money from
adsense.
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Keep up the great writing.
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thoughts on this subject matter. Seriously.. thanks for
starting this up. This web site is one thing that is needed
on the web, someone with a bit of originality!
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It sounds like you and your husband have shared a long journey together! I love what you are offering on your site. I think that is such an important thing. It is important for caregivers to remember to take care of themselves. It is hard to take good care of someone else if you yourself are not doing okay!
Hey, you’re the goto expret. Thanks for hanging out here.
Hello River: It is good to hear that you are finding value in my site; thanks for visiting. The site is progressively evolving so please keep on visiting and leave us your thoughts. Cheers.
I share your feeling as a caregiver, My parents are dementia, it started with my mom, when she had dementia, the starting stage was the hardest to handle because she became very unreasonable. Because of this, my father cannot handle the stress and suffered a stroke. He got dementia too. He is very violent to my mom; I had no choice but to put him in a home and my mom stays with me. I hired a helper to take care of her, Now both of them are bedridden. My helper has feed and bathes my mom. My dad is in a worst condition, he cannot recognize any of us.
Hello Vincent:
I empathize! Caring for a loved one is one of life’s greatest challenges. Yet, it brings out the best in you. The responsibilities are enormous and it all takes a physical and emotional toll on your body. Be aware that.you must take care of yourself first, to be able to care for your parents whether they are in or out of the home.
You have done well in providing care for your parents, good job!. Dementia is painful to watch! Just continue to be there for your parents. Reach out for help and support for your Mom and do take care of yourself.
How can I help you? Send me a PM and I’ll get back to you.
Stay strong and hold on to your faith.
Vena.
.
You’re a really useful web site; couldn’t make it without ya!
Thomas Res: I am glad you find my site to be of value. Thanks for visiting, please continue to visit and let us have your thoughts. Cheers.
Hi Vena,
I think it’s excellent that your site is raising awareness about a very real issue. The needs of caregivers are so often completely overlooked by everyone including the caregiver. Caring for a loved one with a chronic, debilitating condition is physically and emotionally exhausting. I experienced it with both of my parents before they passed away. It’s so important to take care of yourself also. God Bless!
Hello Linda:
Thanks very much for your encouraging words. Often times the caregiver is so involved in nurturing and caring for everyone else he/she forgets the importance of self care. I learned the hard way that’s why I’m passionate in bringing awareness to others before it’s too late.