the dali limaHave you ever had people in your life that literally thrived on playing the blame game? You know those people that are constantly belly aching that whatever goes wrong it’s your fault?  Over time you actually believe them.  You quickly get sucked into the game of fixing all of their problems believing it’s your fault while they become stronger and better at blaming you and everyone else.

DF-quote Victim ConsciousnessIn essence you become their rescuer.  You do not realize what’s happening at the time because that is a life lesson to be learned.  As long as you continue to play their game you are empowering those people in victim consciousness and the game will continue for as long as you play.  In reality this game is hurting everyone involved.

Things only change when you take responsibility for whatever is happening in your own life and allow other people to do the same.  Blamers are people who do not take responsibility for their life.  It is easier to blame others.  Although it may seem easier to blame others the blamers are doing a disservice, dis-empowering themselves by not taking responsibility for their life.   On the other hand, the rescuer is enabling the blamer to dis-empower himself/herself and this is the worst service possible.

mattcody-Powerless[3]-1By constantly rescuing others you are not allowing them to take responsibility for their own life.  You are dis-empowering them.  You are taking their power away by fixing all their problems.  Most importantly, you are dis-empowering yourself by carrying their monkey on your back.

When people are blaming other people for the problems in their life, they become powerless to change.  Their thoughts hold them in victim consciousness.

“Victim mentality is an acquired (learned) personality trait in which a person tends to regard him or herself as a victim of the negative actions of others, and to behave like it were the case—even in the absence of clear evidence. It depends on habitual thought processes and attribution”.

Victim mentality – Wikipedia, the free encyclopaedia

stop blaming others2In today’s society people are far too willing to give away their personal power and responsibility for their lives. They are not willing to put in the work necessary to actually make a lasting difference in their lives.

Your thought process can change once you’ve made a decision to change your life.  It takes work and persistence, however as long as there is a will there is a way.

Change your life in 5 steps:

1             Take responsibility for everything that is in your life, no matter how good or bad. You created and accepted it into your life, and as such, you can change it.

action changes things2             Decide what you do want in your life, what you are going to accept and what you are not going to accept. If you don’t know what you want, identify what you don’t want, and the opposite of that is what you want. Decide on who and what you want to be. Create an action plan for change. Create a plan for how you are going to make these changes.

3             And the most important step of all, DO IT. That’s right, do it and make the changes. This is the step that separates the achievers and successful people from the dreamers living a life of mediocrity.

4             If you have been attending all these seminars, reading these books and you still haven’t managed to change your life, then look inside yourself and ask this question.

5             “Am I taking responsibility for changing my life?”

responsibility (1)If the answer is no, then take responsibility and start changing your life today. Whether you work with someone else, or you work with me, take responsibility and use the knowledge of the “guru’s” and the courses and the books and implement them into your life and create the life of your dreams; the life you deserve.

You can wait for an eternity for someone else to make the changes for you, and it will never happen. You just have to DO it yourself. Stop putting things off now, because the more you put things off the more painful and difficult it will get.

Dealing with life’s challenges takes skill and planning.  In the case of the caregiver, incorporating adequate balance in the care plan protects from taking on too much responsibility that impedes on self care.



The sooner the light bulb goes on the sooner you’ll find the peace that has somehow escaped you.  It is never too late to take back your power, lighten your load of responsibility, find your peace and be happy.

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